Husbands and wives
let's bring some more focus on how the husband should treat his wife as God has
asked Muslim men to:
It is not demeaning
if the husband shares in the responsibility of house matters, such as the
mending of garments or things of the kind. Also it shows good manners that the
husband helps his wife in the house, during times of necessity, such as when she
is sick, pregnant, has just gave birth or similar to that. For Prophet Mohammad
(PBUH) used to fix his shoes, and used to be helpful to his wives.
Al-Aswad narrated: "I asked Aicha, `What did the Prophet, peace be upon him,
do at home?' She said, `He used to work for his family and when he heard the
call for the prayer, he would go out.'" [Bukhari].
A good husband is he who cooperates with his wife by being tender and kind to
her. Islam considers husbands who are best at helping their wives are the best
Also the husband should set a specific time in which he can play around and pass
free time with his wife. The relationship between a married couple cannot be
warm and stable unless the couple begins removing all the obstacles and
impediments that stand between them. For example, the husband should not feel
timid and restrain himself from drinking out of the same cup that his wife
drinks out of, it shows her that he loves her.
Also, let's keep in mind that nobody is perfect. So there is no doubt that the
husband will see things in his wife that does not meet his natural preferences.
If such qualities are not opposing the fundaments of the Islam or to the
obedience of the husband and his rights, then at that point, he should not push
her to change her personality so that it complies with his natural preference.
Islam states that a husband should not try to expose his wife's bad qualities,
for too much blaming and reprimanding will worsen the relationship between them,
and will surely threaten their marital life. So the husband should overlook his
wife's drawbacks and mistakes, and make her falling into them seem like
Also the husband should not give little importance to implementing the
punishment required for any acts in opposition to Islam, which a wife has
committed, whether it is in the home or outside it. This should be the main
reason that stirs the husband's anger.
The woman is the head of the house, the one responsible for it. So the husband
should not meddle into affairs that do not fall into his area of duties and
responsibilities, such as the food and the order of the house.
Also Islam forbids the husband fro scolding his wife or blame her for a mistake
she made, in front of others, even if they are their own children.
Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: "The believers who
show the most perfect faith are those who have the best disposition and the best
of you are those who are best to their wives."
Having jealousy and caring about the modesty of the wife is a praiseworthy
thing, which shows the husband's love and care for her, provided that the
husband does not go to extremes in his jealousy. For then at that point, it
would turn into something negative and will badly affect their life.
Moreover the husband should not enter the house suddenly, for he might shock his
wife, he should prepare her for his coming, and when he comes in he should greet
her with Salaam (Islam greeting).
Aicha (one of Prophet Mohammad's wives) has narrated that Prophet Mohammad
(PBUH) would enter the house with a pleasing disposition and a smile on his
And ask about her and how she is doing.
Also husbands and wives should beware of spreading any secrets connected with
the intimate encounters they have with each other, for that is something
forbidden in Islam.
The husband is also asked to take care of the way he looks the way the wife is
asked to look beautiful in the eyes of her husband. The husband should
constantly maintain the cleaning of his mouth and the freshening of his breath.
Showing respect and kindness to the wife's family is showing respect and
kindness to her. And this applies even after her death.
When a husband speaks to his wife, he must choose the kindest and nicest words
and expressions for his speech. And not to reprimand her in front of others or
in front of the children. Same thing goes for the wife; she should be kind and
talk to her husband using nice and sweet words.
Also it is not proper for a husband to force his wife to look for work or to
spend her wealth on supporting the house, for this is his responsibility.