Main Role of a Muslim Mom

[want2bveiled]

Main Role of a Muslim Mom

Rasulullah SAW has said:
“All of you are heads of a group and all of you are responsible for your groups; the ruler is the head of state and he is responsible for his people, the man is head of his family and responsible for his family, the woman is the head in her husband’s house and she is responsible for the house. In short all of you are heads and responsible for your groups.”
“Allah SWT will ask every shepherd (or responsible person) about his flock (those for whom he was responsible), whether he took care of it or neglected it, until He asks a man about his household.”
“And the woman is the Shepherdness of the home of her husband and of his children. All of you will be questioned about their flock. ”
As women, we have been gifted by Allah SWT with many qualities. One of the greatest quality is the ability to rear children in a loving and caring way. As moms, we spend the most time with our children. And therefore, we are in the best position to mould our children any way we want.
Rasulullah SAW have said,
“Every new born has the correct instinct, his parents make him Jewish, Christian or a fire worshiper.”
Most mothers nowadays, believe that their duty as mothers are simply to feed them, clean them, play with them . . . . Some don’t even do that. They send their kids to a day care center while they themselves busily run after wordly affairs.
We have to make a lot of Shukr to Allah SWT that we are Muslims. We have a much higher goal then them in rearing our children. And our main goal is to bring our child up, in a manner, that ultimately he will go to Jannah (paradise).
“O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) sever, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah SWT, but do that which they are commanded.” (Qur’an, 66:6)
Many famous saints attained sainthood at the hands of their mothers. Look back in history at the time of Prophet Noah (as). He was a prophet of Allah SWT but because his wife was an unbeliever, and so was his son. Similarly, look at Prohet Lut (as). Look at our ancestor Prophet Abraham (as). His son, Ishmael (as), became a prophet, despite Abraham (as)’s absence while he was groing up. He became a prophet because of his mother. A mother who had complete faith in Allah SWT.
So, you see, we play a great role as a Muslim mom. Allah SWT has given us the responsibility of bringing up our children in a loving and wise manner. To guide them, constantly and patiently, into becoming good Muslims. To teach them to follow the commandments of Allah SWT following the footsteps of our beloved Prophet SAW.
Once Rasulullah SAW saw a woman with two children. She was carrying one in her arms and holding the other by his hand. On observing this tender scene, Rasulullah SAW commented:
“These women firstly bear these children within their wombs; then they give birth to them; then they care for them with great love and affection. If their relationship with their husbands is not bad, then, those among them who perform regular Salaat will certainly enter Jannah.”

[lindan236055]

salamu-o-alakium
my name is linda and i have just taken my shahada at home a month ago.and inshaALLAH this weekend comming i will take it in the mosque.i have 2 children one 14 year old boy and 18 year old girl.they a both great kids but i never really gave them a firm foundation on god.i feel very guitly for this but do know ALLAH has forgiven me for this.however,i do want my children to become muslim and to follow the ways of the propeht(pbuh).yesterday i toook my son to the mosque but he wasn't jumping for joy because the only concern of his is that he wont have anymore christmas and birthdays.so what do i do?how could i really get their attention about ALLAH?i have always been a good role model for my kids but other then serving ALLAH the best i can how could i encourage them?

[Serenity]

Wa alaikom il Salam Linda!

I am so happy to know about your embracing Islam, and I welcome you as my sister from the bottom of my heart :D

From the way you talk it seems that your kids are good kids and just need guidance to the right path, at the age of 14 and 18 I'm guessing both of your kids have their own mind and would probably shower you with endless questions ;) so you should be armed with the right answers! I really pray that you will be able to show them Islam, May Allah be with you in every step of the way at accomplishing this mission...

I once heard of a woman who lived in the US but is Muslim, her kids used to be jealous of the other kids because they used to celebrate Christmas etc so she made a really big effort at decorating her house with beautiful designs on Eid and giving her children presents that they would really like, maybe you can gift them with little things like a booklet about islam, or send them a link of a nasheeda, or even tell them stories about the prophet and his sa7aba - I know that even at the age of 21 I still like to hear stories about the Prophet and his sa7aba and even have a private teacher who reads to us the Seera - ;)

Maybe debates with them about what is "right" and "wrong" might get them more aware of their actions in life and how they have to study their steps because everything has consequences, and it's only natural that there is the One who governs this world and who won't let bad actions go unpunished... Plus point out that it's only natural to feel "good" when doing "good" and that's probably because God is pleased with the thing they are doing :D

My parents always say these words aloud 'bismillah' - 'al hamdulilah' - 'sub7anallah' - etc it infront of us, I urge you to do the same so that it sparks their interest, ex. if they show you something they have done, you can enthusiatically say 'mashallah! Allah has blessed me with a gifted daughter/son' such simple words have a really good effect... & be ready to answer them if they ask you what does it mean? why do you say it? I also believe that it might encourage them to "think" and "reflect" upon the presence of Allah in every part of their life ...

Here are some things I picked out from this page:

http://www.crescentlife.com/family%20matters/teaching_children_about_islam.htm

- The most effective way to teach anything to anybody is to be a role model. This is why Allah sent human beings as prophets to all peoples. Whether we willingly accept this job or not, it is a fact that your child learns how to function in life by watching what you do. Mashallah you already are applying this one ;) way to go!

- Instead of giving them lists of facts to learn, set them an example and mention the Islamic connection while you are doing it. You visit someone who is sick; mention that this is an Islamic requirement, discuss with your child why it is good to do this act. Make sure you visit with sick people who are not part of your cultural group and non-Muslims as well. One important lesson for your child to learn is that Islamic behavior is good for everyone, even non-Muslims.

- One of the most wonderful things about Islam is that because it is the truth, it can stand up to the most critical of questions.

And last of all, pray for them - as I'm sure your already doing - a mother's prayer are always answered as it comes from deep inside her heart...May Allah bless your children for you ...

P.S. Inshallah I'll try to extract more ideas for you from a book I have about teaching your child about Islam...since it's about teaching your child from when he/she is small until they are teenagers I'm not sure if it might have the information you need but I'll check :)

[ummibrahimabdur-rahman]

As'Salaamu Alakium Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatu Linda,
Alhumduillah, Welcome my sister well this is a blessing for both you and your family. May Allah make it easy for you and your children. Ameen. This will be a process for them as well as for you. Be patient and kind don't despair continue to take your children with you when you go out to learn. Take them to the masjid with you to see that muslims do have teenagers 14 & 18 and that they find worshiping Allah (swt) & practicing Islam is fine. I live in the Northern Virginia area but my sons are small. When you go out to the masjid let sisters know that you are a new muslimah in the community and ask if they have groups or activities for the youth. I know most communities do Inshallah. This is a group that I belong but they sponsor pre-k to elementary grade. Anyway here something to start with if you like.

Al Fatih Academy's Peace Leaders Program is a conflict resolution and peacebuilding program for Pre-K through elementary grades. Peace Leaders teaches students, families, and communities to build and maintain peaceful relations with each other by living our Islamic values and practices. Our school works with a topic to build Muslim character each month. Below is the latest February newsletter about Humility and Arrogance based on discussions students had in class community meetings. A more readable version can be found on the website www.alfatih.org





Peace Leaders



Those who pray, Our Lord! Grant us spouses and offspring to comfort our eyes and make us imams of the muttaqeen. Those will be rewarded with the highest place in heaven because of their sabr; they will be met with greetings and salaam. (Quran 25:74-75)



Prophet Muhammad (saws) said, “Surely! Every one of you is a guardian and responsible for his charges.” (Bukhari 9:252)



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February Themes: Humility & Arrogance





What is Arrogance (Kibr)?

Thinking you’re better than other people
Having an attitude
Pushing people away and not including them
Being angry
Showing off and bragging
Gossiping and eavesdropping
Not remembering to pray
Thinking about yourself all the time and not thinking about Allah swt


What is Humility (Tawada)?

Knowing you’re not better than other people
Being embarrassed and ashamed when you do something wrong
Trying to fix mistakes
Appreciating other people
Remembering Allah swt


What is Modesty (Haya)?

Being humble in our dress and bodies
Boys and girls are humble with each other and aren’t aggressive
Making each other comfortable
Giving each other space and respect




What Is Being Too Humble?

Not speaking up when you know you should
You can’t defend yourself
You are taken advantage of or made fun of
Trying to impress other people with how humble you are
Trying too hard to be liked
Hiding the bounty of Allah SWT
Being afraid of people instead of Allah SWT


Homework Assignments

Students rewrote various phrases according to how a humble person would say them and how an arrogant person would say them.



Students wrote in their journals 3 examples each of: How a modest person would act, how a humble person would act, and how an arrogant person would act.



5-Minute Family Halaqa



Have a 5-minute halaqa (circle time)

with your family. Discuss the following:

“How do you see humility and modesty in yourselves and others?”







Our Humble Bodies



Clothes: Modest, clean, and beautiful.

Eyes: Look down towards the ground.

Nose: Not stuck up.

Head and Neck: Straight and facing front.

Ears: Listen to good things. Pay attention and listen with respect.

Voices and mouths: Speak gently and kindly. Speak loudly only when needed.

Say the truth. Recite Quran. Smile.

Give good advice. Use good manners.

Chest: Relaxed.

Arms: Peaceful.

Legs: Walk quietly and energetically.

Bodies: Calm, focused, purposeful.

Make simple movements. Control anger

and strong emotions. Make salat.


Our Humble Hands…

Help, Make Du’a, Give Zakat, Communicate, Work, Share…

What else do humble hands do? Think about this during your day.


Our “Show-Off” Bodies


Clothes: Immodest and extravagant.

Eyes: Stare, roll, and watch what they shouldn’t be watching.

Nose: Stuck up.

Head and Neck: Neck bends back and head looks away in pride.

Ears: Listen to what they shouldn’t be listening to. Don’t pay attention. Don’t listen with respect. Ignore good advice.

Voices and mouths: Speak loudly, say mean things, laugh at people, and gossip.

Chest: Stuck out and puffed up.

Arms: Aggressive and hurting.

Legs: Stomp around, kick. Walk in ways that attract attention to our bodies.

Bodies: Loud and threatening. Try to be above others. Try to overpower others.





Prophet Muhammad (saws) said:

· Allah has revealed to me the embracing of humility until there is no more arrogance. (Muslim)

Arrogance is denying the truth, disparaging people, and looking down on them. (ibn Masud

Prophet Muhammad (saws) said:

· Modesty comes from iman and iman leads to paradise. (Tirmidhi and ibn Hibban)

· Every religion has its special feature: The special feature of Islam is modesty. (Abu Dawud)



Brainteaser: How can we give charity by being arrogant?

Answer: The Prophet (saws) said it’s a charity to show arrogance to an arrogant person. The arrogant one can realize his/her mistake and correct him/herself. The 4th, 5th, and 6th graders came up with a hand signal for when they are acting arrogant by being too noisy. It’s a signal that usually shows an arrogant attitude (ask them what it is). When they see this signal, they know it’s time to settle down.



Most times, we will see that when we are humble, others will be humble in return. When we are arrogant, others will be arrogant in return. The 2nd and 3rd graders came up with a hand signal for these positive and negative “cycles” by rolling their arms in a circle. Always try to start a positive cycle by being humble!


I hope this help. I will make duaa for you and your family.
Feel free to email me personally if you need help with anything.

"A mother never stands as tall as when she is bending down to help her child..." ~Unknown

Holy Quran 2:255~

Allah is He besides Whom there is no god, the Everliving, the Self-subsisting by Whom all subsist; slumber does not overtake Him nor sleep; whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth is His; who is he that can intercede with Him but by His permission? He knows what is before them and what is behind them, and they cannot comprehend anything out of His knowledge except what He pleases, His knowledge extends over the heavens and the earth, and the preservation of them both tires Him not, and He is the Most High, the Great.

Ma Salaams
Umm IbrahimAbdur-Rahman (Khadijah)